•  packing our whole life
• wrapping up tons of odds and ends in Lynchburg
• saying goodbye to each one of our friends.
• getting a new home in a new state
• staying at a friend’s house with my girls
• leaving the girls to secure said home
• staying at my in-laws for a week and a half
• working from home while accomplishing the above list
• caring for the girls
• driving across country

HOLY MOLY

And here is how we have made it through…

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Now, I wouldn’t say my mind has been in perfect peace at all times. There have been plenty of moments of irrational thought and action. There have been times of sadness and stress and fear and joy. But, overwhelmingly, there has been peace.

And for the past two days our whole family has been in our new home in Colorado. I feel grateful…to be here and to have weathered the past month.

And grateful to be at the very start of a unbelievable adventure. Each day when I leave our neighborhood and I see views like this, I am reminded of how present God has been and still is in all of this.

Well, girlfriend delivered!

Here was my reaction…joy and tears!

Here’s a close up.

She captured it so welll..my wreath and pillows and flowers and ferns. Even the missing boxwood to the left of the door that we never replaced. And each of these details tells a story. And the sum of these stories points to the sweetness of this last season of our lives.

And for a moment I pulled it together to pose with my new painting (outside Comcast where Rachel met me so that I could turn in my cable box and complete one more item on the unending list). Moving is a beast.

To see more of Rachel’s work you can check out her website HERE.  Thank you Rachel, I will treasure your work.

“She teaches me, through her words and actions, that if you take the next right step, if you live a life of radical and honest prayer, if you allow yourself to be led by God’s spirit, no matter how far from home and familiarity it takes you, you won’t have to worry about what you want to be when you grow up. You’ll be too busy living a life of passion and daring.”

I just love this. I love it because I feel my mom taught me a lot of the same things. She encouraged me to take risks, to push the limits and to go whole-heartedly after what I thought was right.

I also love this because I want to be this type of mom.

I want to be a brave mom, the type of mom that frees her girls to run full speed into the life God has set before them.

So, today, it might be packing, or grading or wiping a snotty nose…and  in all these things I have the opportuniuty to see God.

How cool is that?

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I have said these very words to a number of my dear friends over these past few months. Lately, regularly, something happens and I think, “what I will do without_______?”  (fill in the name of a fabulous friend here).

Like…

Who will I call in an emergency?

Who will watch my girls in a moments notice?

Who will take long, venting walks with me?

Who will confront me when my hair really is just too greasy?

Who will drink a glass of wine on my back deck with me?

Who will menu plan and co-host dinner parties with me?

Who will flea market shop with me?

Pray for me?

Cry with me?

Eat far too many brownies with me?

Dream, plan, create with me?

Who will watch reality tv re-runs with me?

Who will love my girls? And take them shopping for lip gloss and princess balloons?

Who will know me enough to disagree with me?

Who will confront me when I have worn the same outfit too many days in a row?

Who will protect me?

Support me?

I know these are selfish thoughts..but they are the thoughts I am having.

And typically I can “pep talk” myself through it…but then later (probably in that very day), I come back around to…”Okay, so really, what will I do without my friends?”

“What people are craving isn’t perfection. People aren’t longing to be impressed; they’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude and rest, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how odd.”

And she is SO right. There have been times in my past where my home was “a source of shame,” as she mentions; where I have closed the door to my home instead of inviting people in to enjoy it with all its’ imperfections.

I do love homes, and paint colors and decor..Like this one…the settee, the floors, the moldings. And sometimes our desire for the “perfect” home can keep us from enjoying (with others), the homes we have right now. (And frankly, I know maybe one person with a home like this.)

(Pinterest)

Ultimatly, the spaces that really draw me (and keep me)  are the ones in which I can be at ease. The ones I can enter at any time and find a welcoming hug and a cup of tea or glass of wine. And I want people to feel like that in my home…that even though there will be random items and Cheerios scattered on the floor..there will also be an inviting spirit..a secure, welcoming voice asking them to enter. No reservations needed.

I want them to feel like my home is theirs.

What about you? What is it about a home that draws you in?

And in that moment, I realized, I could barely recognize the girl who was speaking such words.

I sorta believed Nic and I would never move. We have LOVED our life in Lynchburg. Loved our church, our friends, our homes, LOVED the life we have had here.

But something changed…and a longing for something we couldn’t even clearly articulate was growing in our hearts.

So we started praying, asking God (who we believe can lead and direct us) where we should be. That simple act alone was the opening of a clenched fist. I felt like God was asking me to let go of this good life.  And slowly, I was able to do so.

I trust God’s heart for my family and I trust he is not asking me to let go of this life to lead us into something less fulfilling or beautiful.

And in thinking it through, the loss, or at least the one that truly matters is the loss of our relationships…The gut-honest, give anything needed, love through it all friendships. Those are what have truly made this life so very sweet.

I know we are not leaving those behind. We are taking those relationships with us..not only in practical ways (like, hello..facetime, email, phones, facebook, instagram) but also in all the ways these relationships have softened, shaped and molded us into new and different people.

So, while I can’t take my sweet friends with me, I will take the “me” that has been refined by them. The “me” that is a better friend and person because of them.

And so in less than a two months we will be headed to Colorado to begin a new season of this life God has blessed us with. There will be struggles and sadness, but there will also be purpose and provision beyond what we can imagine. And after some time, “the better us” will build relationships and friendships that will add meaning and flavor to our time there. And we’ll understand more fully why God asked us to leave so much goodness behind.

But for me it’s the everyday, every moment emotions that creep in and can cause chaos in my heart and mind. Someone says something in passing and it really hurts me, or I see something on Facebook and I feel insecure. Maybe, I’m just getting my girls ready for preschool and I feel angry at their disobedience. Instead of allowing these emotions to simmer and grow into full on “situations” I try to remember a few key verses…

Proverbs 14:30 A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.

Runaway emotions? Yes! That is what I experience. And if I allow them to “runaway” nothing beneficial occurs.

I also love…

Proverbs 4:23 23-27 Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.

You know those moments where you feel sad and you just want to lay down and wallow in the sadness? Like really roll around in it? Or you feel insecure about something and you are tempted to allow that insecure thought become a true thing? It’s in moments like these where I bring to mind the above scriptures.

Because truth be told, I actually love being an emotional woman. I love how it feels to feel. I also see, at times, how it causes corrosion to my bones…and that is something I am interested in preventing.

The wood is amazing. The wheels are chunky and “real-deal”

The other end has this metal piece instead of wheels which keeps it in place quite nicely. And, they are super heavy, so they won’t be moved around much (at least not by a toddler)

Pretty much I love it.

I do have others if you are interested in purchasing one. There are endless possibilities with these. Coffee tables, bar carts, kitchen islands…and on I could go. (They will, however, require some tweaking (as they are far too short to be a coffee table as is. they are 11 in Hx 30 in W and 60 in L.) Message me if you want additional details.

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